So for the past couple of weeks, we (Jenni and I) have been having a not so good time of communicating to each other. Mostly it has come from the lack of intimate communication. This weekend while we were setting up the tent for camping, we talked, it was not a happy conversation to be having while camping, but we had it, and during the talk I came to a realization that I do want to have kids, and with Jenni. Now all we have to do is come up with the money.
I am not worried about that, Jenni is awesome when it comes to money, however we have a few things that will be coming up that might put a major dent in our money saving power (go go student loans). Sitting here at work, two days till my vacation and thinking, today is going to be better (last night was a lot of fun *wink *wink).
So, recap of what I do know, one I like to play Shadowrun (which by the way they finished the run, even though I did chop at least 40% from the end of the run), I am going to try to have kids with my sexy, wonderful, loving wife, I have good friends, a good job, and a great set of pets. I still don't know a lot, but I am comfortable with that.
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That is a really huge decision to move forward with trying for a family. If you're up to share, I am so curious to know what it is/was that helped you get to that point, and overcoming all of the fears that I know we all have. It has been a long process for ML and I, and although we are moving forward I still wonder sometimes if it is something that ML really 'wants'.
ReplyDeleteYour words about Jenni are so loving and beautiful. She is one lucky gal to have such an adoring partner to share her life with.
"you can't know what you want till you have it" is something my friend says to me whenever he goes shopping with me for paint and mini supplies or Shadowrun books. Which is really true, however sometimes what we want is the same thing but we(I) were to afraid to acknowledge that we want it as well. Especially when we feel that the success or failure will be ours seeing that we(I) am the issue (in my case) and for me it was the fear(ha ha) of losing something that I already had(Jenni) to acknowledge that I still wanted the same things but I was too afraid of letting Jenni down to the point it froze me into non-action. The things that helped me get to that point were seeing my brother in law, my best friend with their kids, and seeing how much they got to pass on what they know about the world and get to see the world through their kids eyes. It really was not a moment of "wow I know the answer" it was more of a coming together of facts that I it was me just being afraid of the unknown. It did not hurt that I realized that sometimes even if you can't see the bottom, you just have to jump and have faith that it will either work or not and that both answers are ok.
ReplyDeleteSorry it took me so long to reply, I really had to think about the answer : )